


Convicted Criminal of Thought

by allsoulsnight



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Does this count as canon divergence too??, F/F, I'm a tease but so is Villaneve so..., Jealous!Eve, Jealousy, Masturbation, Overthinking, Sex Dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:14:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26290957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allsoulsnight/pseuds/allsoulsnight
Summary: "Against her better judgement, which was already terribly skewed, Eve was jealous and she was trying damn hard not to admit it."Or that one where Eve thinks way too much.
Relationships: Eve Polastri/Niko Polastri, Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Comments: 2
Kudos: 58
Collections: Killing Eve Week 2020





	Convicted Criminal of Thought

**Author's Note:**

> For my new friend, Ashley. 
> 
> Also this is loosely inspired by the song [Sexxx Dreams by Lady Gaga.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_701WL_azrY) If you don't know that song, do yourself a favor and listen to it! It's dirty, sexy, and a little too fun to listen to with Villaneve in mind.

The harsh shrill of her alarm ripped Eve from her dreams and into the early hours of morning. 

“Shit!” Eve winced at the sound and put a hand to her head to ease the sharp pain behind her temples. She fumbled for a moment but finally silenced her alarm, nearly knocking the empty wine glass off of her bedside table in the process. As she pulled herself up out of her bed and into the shower, she sighed as she once again pushed the recurring memory-like dream into the recesses of her mind to process later. The day ahead, the mild hangover, and the aching between her legs would be the death of her however running the tap colder than usual was enough to alleviate two of those things. She sighed as her bookmarked thoughts from last night began to rouse as well. Today was going to be difficult. 

The ramifications of Villanelle’s tantrum and Aaron Peel’s surely broken nose weighed heavy on her mind since it happened the night before. Eve finished the half bottle of wine in her fridge and promptly opened another as she began preparing herself for the damage control she will have to do and the lecture she would have to give as well. Despite Konstantin’s advice not to, she’d tried to call Villanelle later that evening. When she didn’t answer, Eve settled for leaving a pointed voicemail that she would be stopping by her ‘stupidly attractive apartment’ before work regardless of how early. 

Was it really that hard to read the files that she, the leader of this operation, spent hours formulating, researching, and proofreading. How many times could Eve stress the terms under which Villanelle was to operate?

Oh god! Had Eve really said ‘stupidly attractive apartment’ in the voicemail? Perhaps she should have called Villanelle before the wine... Still, Eve was ready to give Villanelle a piece of her mind when she opened the door to the MI6 issued apartment and her feet hit the stairs.

“I got my date with Aaron.” Funny at how just the simple sound of Villanelle’s voice derailed her train of thought. Again, hours of careful thought out the window and the proverbial rug pulled from under her feet. She should still be angry but she couldn’t summon the energy to. Frankly, Eve was too tired to care at this point.

“Great, let’s start.” 

“I’m not dressed.”

“I don’t care.” See?

Eve began to pull off her coat, her blazer getting caught along with it as it always did, but paused halfway through. She shouldn’t feel at ease in the company of this infuriating prick, but she did, and for the first time all week her mind was actually quiet for once. _Why now?_ She sighed deeply and plopped on the bed, ignoring how stupidly comfortable it was. Oh, how it was.

“You okay?” It was soft, earnest even.

“I don’t know.” The answer came without Eve thinking. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” The bed dipped and Villanelle moved over.

“I...really don’t.” _Especially not with you, you’d have a field day._ Eve pulled her blazer back on. 

“You’ll feel better if you do. Honesty is the best policy.” Villanelle leaned over cooly. 

How rich, coming from her. Eve gave a weak laugh, “Oh, two AA meetings and suddenly you’re the expert on honesty?”

A cocky shrug and a simple “Yeah.” 

Eve changed her approach, turning to face her, a mirror image. “You know those things you said in the meeting?”

“Which parts?”

“You said” She inhaled, “You don’t want anything. You don’t like anything, that you’re bored… Do you mean it?” Two can play this honesty game, Villanelle. 

She thought for a split second. “I don’t know.

 _What?_ “You don’t know if you’re telling the truth or not?” _How could you not know?_

Villanelle’s brow furrowed, her beautiful eyes searching for an answer. “Not really?”

“You don’t feel anything?” Eve pried further. 

Villanelle inched ever closer and her entire tone shifted. “I feel things when I’m with you.”

And that admission brought up a lot of thoughts at once. She obviously shouldn’t believe Villanelle, who lied and used people and _killed_ . But there was something in Villanelle’s eyes that made Eve question it, still. Were her truths always wrapped in a cloak of bravado? The thought of Villanelle’s elusive human emotions being directed at her stirred something in her chest. Eve still wanted to know more; to know everything. _Tell me the truth._ She wanted to say but...

A door opened behind Eve and effectively ruined the moment followed by a stranger who furthered that point. At the sight of a stylish young woman adjusting her coat, it took all of a second for Eve to realize why Villanelle hadn’t been dressed when she arrived. 

The air lay thick with a sense of unease before the stranger spoke. “Thank you. For the…” She trailed off demurely. 

“The sex?”

_Jesus Christ._

“Yeah.”

“You’re welcome!” Because of course Villanelle was nothing short of well mannered even as her guest left down the stairs. “I couldn’t remember her name. Could you tell?” Villanelle said softly to Eve, biting her lip in thought.

Eve needed to leave. _Now._ “Aaron Peel is going to Rome. We think that is where the sale is taking place.” Eve stood and began pulling her coat back on. She needed to get out of this apartment right now before she started to process everything further. 

“Don’t be jealous.” 

_Jealous?_ Eve shot her a glance of disbelief that probably solidified Villanelle’s assertion more than she’d hoped. 

“You know…” She scooted closer to catch Eve’s gaze. “I’m not with them, when I’m with them.” The same tone as earlier, Eve again didn’t know if she was being honest. Though there was no time to assess as the same door opened again and another girl stepped out. Eve promptly stared in disbelief. 

“Thanks.” And she left, too.

“Is anyone else here?” Eve called out to the room before she could help herself. 

“I don’t...think so.” Villanelle scrunched her nose in thought. “Hm. Definitely not.”

 _Leave, Eve._ “I’m going to work. Read the file this time.” She dropped it down on the bed with a dull thunk. “You text Aaron. Charm his face off and get us to Rome.” Yes! There was Eve’s train of thought. Count that as a small success. 

“Whatever you say, boss.” Came from behind her. Eve only glanced back for a half second as she descended the stairs. And there Eve was, leaving out of the same door as those other women, thoroughly fucked. 

_Well, not in the same way!!_

_Obviously, Eve. Get your mind out of the gutter._

Eve tried not to obsess over it, she really did. Even after arriving to work, she could still hear Villanelle’s voice in her ears. 

_“Don’t be jealous.”_

But she was. Against her better judgement, which was already terribly skewed, Eve was jealous and she was trying damn hard not to admit it. It was just a bit of irritation. 

But, really.. Those women. Not one woman but two. Two! How could she be so bold? Well really, it wasn’t a surprise, it was Villanelle after all. It’s Eve who should be surprised with herself. The more she thought about it, the more she felt this overwhelming amalgamation of emotions.

“ _Everything isn’t all about sex, Hugo._ ” 

“ _I_ _sn’t it?_ ” 

Eve glanced over at his desk, thankful that he wasn’t there. She would have thrown a stapler at his head for being right. Which she quickly reminded herself that he wasn’t. 

No! Sex wasn’t on her mind at all. Villanelle seducing two girls and bringing them back to that apartment wasn’t important to Eve. This was all about being professional and focused and maintaining proper interpersonal coworker boundaries. Eve stood a snowball’s chance in hell at the thought of explaining that concept to Villanelle anyway. She was also certain that MI6 surely wasn't concerned with human resource compliance on an unofficial official operation.

But still, Eve’s thoughts circled themselves on that small little pivot point. 

_“Don’t be jealous.”_ Villanelle had the subtlety of a sledgehammer. And if those girls were thanking her, it was obvious she knew what she was doing...

No! 

Eve was feeling this way because of everything in her life.

There was also Niko...and Gemma. 

Eve seethed at the thought. 

Gemma, with her big tits and her patterned bras and her dainty voice. Gemma, who probably taught something stupid like domestic science or history. Gemma, who wanted to give Niko the attention that Eve wasn’t. How could Eve be jealous of some vapid school teacher like that? She was commonplace: a stable option with a hideous house and order and routine… But, Niko did want someone simple and complacent. 

Eve had wanted stability once, too. _Still want. God, Eve. Present tense._ Her marriage with Niko wasn’t over just because he was leaning into and probably acting on the willing affections of Gemma. Plus, Niko had just thrown it all back in Eve’s face with a simple, _“How’s Villanelle,”_ as if Eve was in the wrong for disrupting their balance! Eve hadn’t cheated like he could be. She ignored that deep down, she knew he wouldn’t. Villanelle might have been right, Eve hated to consider it… Niko was too good for her. But it was easier to think of it Eve's way. If Niko was having an affair, Eve had permission to feel more self assured in her actions, her absence from their marriage, and her increased obsession with work… 

_I’m just doing my job as best as I can!_

But while Eve was doing her job, Villanelle was doing anything or anyone she wanted! 

Again, a pivot! 

Eve couldn’t decide if it was better or worse that those women earlier were young. Perhaps worse? Eve was nowhere near her twenties anymore and those girls were prettier and more fit than she was. Perhaps better because… Because… 

It shouldn’t matter! Eve was almost 20 years Villanelle’s senior, her boss, and Eve wasn’t jealous. 

“I know you’re anxious about Peel, we all are," Jess’s voice piped up, bringing Eve out of her thoughts, “But could you please stop bouncing your leg? You’re shaking my desk, too.” 

“Oh.” Eve blinked and sat up in her chair. “I’m sorry.” She picked up the folder that she’d been trying to read the contents of unsuccessfully. She’d reread the same paragraph almost five times already. Not two minutes later, the table began to shake again.

“You seem distracted today.” Jess said, narrowing her eyes. “Well, a bit more than normal.”

“I’m fine.” Eve immediately offered, doing her best to keep defensiveness out of her tone. “i just didn’t sleep well." _Don’t think about the dream. Don’t think about the dream._ “Do you want to get a drink after work with me?” Eve asked suddenly. 

“I could go for a tequila shot or four.” Jess just laughed and looked down at her stomach, stroking it gently. “Might calm him down for once.”

Eve made a face and closed her eyes in embarrassment. “Ah, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” 

“I’m just giving you a hard time.” Jess said lightly. “You know you should go home early if you aren’t feeling well. Not like you take sick days all the time, you're always here.” 

She thought about it for a moment. “Maybe I will.” 

An hour later, Eve collapsed on her couch, coat and all. Maybe she should take a short nap, restart her day, get her thoughts back in control. Thirty minutes couldn’t hurt.

She shrugged off her coat and settled into the cushions, her heavy eyelids falling and her breathing starting to even out. Eve was asleep in a matter of minutes but then she began to dream. Foolish to think the same dream from the night before wouldn’t rear its ugly head again now. Oh, how she was wrong. 

_“What do you want from me, Eve? Do you want me to love you or do you want me to frighten you?”_

_Her reply was breathless. “I don’t know.”_

_Niko lowered her to the ground and released her hair, giving her one final order. “Now go upstairs.”_

_And this was the feeling Eve couldn’t pin down. This illusive, delicious danger. This exchange of power and control. This is something that Eve simply couldn’t ignore, the intoxicating feeling deep within her chest left her breathless. This is something that only Villanelle could evoke._

_So Eve obeyed the feeling and the order. One by one she crawled up the stairs. She didn’t stop. She didn’t look back. Eve simply acquiesced._

_When she reached the bedroom, footsteps behind her brought her out of her trance, and she sat back on her knees, her back to the doorway. Without words, she slid her cardigan off of her shoulders._

_A hand ran down her curls, grabbed, and pulled her head back. A groan ripped its way out of her throat._

_Another hand snaked around her throat from behind, the cold fingers on her flushed skin sent shivers down her spine. Her eyes slipped shut of their own accord._

_“Is this what you wanted?” But the voice she heard saying these things was certainly not Niko’s. She knew the answer without thinking._

_“Yes.”_

_“Do you deserve it,” The smooth voice lilted. “After what you did to me?"_

_Yes, her mind screamed. She did deserve to feel this excitement once in her life. She didn't answer fast enough and the grip on her neck tightened, a reminder to not get comfortable._

_"Answer me." The voice was hot and breathy in her ear, the fingers on her throat tightened._

_She gasped and the answer that came out was, "No." She knew the game. Even if it wasn't the truth, that's the answer that would get her what she wanted._

_“Eve...” A dark laugh of disbelief. The hand on her throat moved to her jaw and forced her face towards the mirror to her right. Eve’s eyes opened and took in pools of hazel as another cold hand traced a gentle line over her cheek and down her neck. Eve watched as deft fingers then slipped under her dress and pulled it up to brush over the hard peak of her nipple, she sighed and arched into the touch. As the hand continued it’s descent further and further down, Eve spread her legs in anticipation._

_“You really are just take, take, take…” Then the fingers slipped lower._

Eve awoke with a gasp and her own hand beneath her slacks. 

Maybe she was a little jealous...

**Author's Note:**

> So, jealousy is hard to write and so is canon divergence. Please take this as my submission for Day #4 and #5 of Killing Eve Week for that very reason. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! I know I'm a tease but, what did you think? Believable? 
> 
> As always, find me on Tumblr: [allsoulsnight!](https://allsoulsnight.tumblr.com/)  
> 


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